What is seen cannot be unseen: Is that Tony Abbott with a mo?!

Bidgee CC BY-SA 3.0 Wikimedia Commons

It’s not often we see Tony Abbott outdoors with his shirt on. But it’s a rare and even unprecedented thing to see the former Prime Minister wearing a mo.

Curious about his new-look, The Aussie Advocate’s Sydney correspondent caught up with Abbott to ask a few questions about his new fashion accessory.

TAA: Thanks for your time Tony. So what’s with growing a mo?

Abbott: Well, I see a lot of my colleagues growing one. I see some of my staffers are growing one. I even see a few women are growing one. So I figured, with so many people growing a moustache I should grow one too.

TAA: I see. So you’re doing this for a charitable cause?

Abbott: Everything I do is for a charitable cause. I serve the Australian people who voted for me. Charitable service is what I do!

TAA: Okay it’s November and you’re growing a mo. Is that just a coincidence?

Abbott: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m growing my moustache because I know what Australians want and expect from their parliamentarians. I am deeply in touch with ordinary Australians and know intimately the things that matter to them.

TAA: Let’s turn to the topic of styling. Your mo has a distinctive toothbrush appearance. Is this on purpose?

Abbott: Yeah it’s on purpose. Look, my moustache is meant to evoke a sense of leadership – the kind of powerful, patriotic, authoritarian leadership you don’t see around much these days. You see, I want to give people hope that one day we can return to the glory days of having someone strong and decisive in the top job.

TAA: Oh snap! You have ambitions of becoming Führer, I mean, Prime Minister again?

Abbott: I have no ambitions to become Prime Minister again! I fully support Prime Minister Malcom Turnbull and think he is doing an absolutely wonderful job.

TAA: Please tell us what you think of Turn…

Abbott: I have no further comments on Turnbull… or the government he is running for that matter.

But here’s something you’ll like. Y’see, I can put on the whole Thomas Magnum style of mo too. Oh look! I just happen to have a photo right here. You can show this to your readers if you like. Go on. Take it.




TAA: Okay, so you’re trying to cover up your lip injury from that headbutt in Hobart?

Abbott: No mate, that was my bottom lip anyway and it’s healed up fine since.

TAA: So any final comments or reflections you’d like to share with our readers?

Abbott: Y’know, Australians love me. They miss me. It’s everywhere, written all over their faces. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still the same Tony Abbott Australians voted for in 2013, only now I am growing this upper lip masterpiece.

So it’s not a new Tony but a revamped Tony. A Tony who voters can be confident in and trust will get the job done. I say, let’s make Australia great again!

TAA: Thanks again for your time Tony.

Abbott: Gern geschehen!